


Was it worth it?

by NaiTheSimp



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 23:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30062967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaiTheSimp/pseuds/NaiTheSimp
Summary: Was it worth it? The lies ? The time put into the last three years… did it mean nothing to you that it was so easy to throw me away?In which Y/N thinks back to a time in her life where she feels she was the most vulnerable and naive and write a letter to Daichi that she may or may not send.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Reader
Kudos: 1





	Was it worth it?

**Author's Note:**

> I hardly write but this one was different .. I was reminded of a situation and just had to right it. I’m not sure if I should end it here or if I should continue. Please let me know what you think of anyone actually reads this lol

It's been nine years .. nine years ago I found out what tore me apart the most. Maybe I was just young and Naive to believe everything will be okay. I vividly remember every encounter as if it happened yesterday but I'm not that teen anymore.

I remember the days you used to tell me _she_ meant nothing to you and was just some crazy girl who was obsessed with you. You said you were nice to her because you knew _her_ brother and _her_ mom recently died. I get it, I would be nice to if I was familiar with _her_ family. I didn't worry when you left me because _she_ came over crying.. You said you wanted to comfort _her_. I figured _she_ looked to you as an older brother since you were 3 years older than both _her_ and I. That was until I walked out front and say you kissing _her_ like _she_ was me. Like I wasn't inside waiting for you to come back. I'll never forget the smirk _she_ gave me before you turned around and realized it was me behind you. "Suga, tell y/n I'll be in in a minute " you said without even looking back to see it was me. The smirk _she_ had indicated that _she_ knew about me .. _she_ knew about us. It was too late for you to do anything though because by the time you realized it was me who left out, I was already shrinking in distance to go home.

I remember it like it was yesterday .. you tried to make up that situation to me and me being the young naive girl who was "in love" allowed you to. To make it up you wanted me to meet your family and that made me happy. So we travel to Kobe to see your sister and her children. However, the excited I had left when your nephew opened the door and tackled me in a hug saying _her_ name. Why did he know _her_? Why did you bring _her_ here? Why was _she_ here before me? What really was _she_ to you? These were all questions I asked myself. When your nephew realized I wasn't _her_ all you could do was rub your neck and apologize.. not even an explanation came from you. I turned away and went home ALONE. In hopes that was our last encounter, though I knew myself better than that .. I knew you too. You wouldn't let me go that easy.

8 years ago.. although we were together we still talked as friends. You told me you were seeing anyone and neither was I. It was only a few months after the incident at your sisters house and I forgave you. But then.. my mom died. I wanted you to be there for me like you were for _her_ but as time went on you responded less and less to me. It even became a point where you told me to "get over it". I never saw you as that type of person.. you always cared for others like a dad or big brother when you weren't even much older so why. Daichi.. did you tell _her_ the same thing back then? Why didn't you comfort me Everytime I cried? I'm an only child and had no one I thought Atleast I would have you. I lost hope at that point.

6 years ago... after you told me to get over it I stopped talking to you. I felt I didn't need to talk to someone who didn't care about me and I was proud of myself for that.. that is until I ran into you at the grocery store. From that day on you called me every and texted me every minute it felt like until I gave in and we started talking again. This time it was different. I was at your apartment most of the time so I felt it was rarely any time for you to cheat or leave me again. Until one day you seems suspicious. Your phone rang and then door bell rang after we were intimate and you went to go get it, I heard whispering and the then door slammed. You came back to bed smiling a if nothing happened and when I asked you brushed me off. As months went by things seemed more suspicious, your phone would ring and you would decline it and when it rung again you would leave to go talk. Litttle did I know, it was her. Me being me snuck to call that number one night and a woman picked up. I was in shock to the point I hung up. That night you held me sleeping peacefully while I laid next to you silently crying. I confronted you the next morning which lead to an argument and me leaving. I wasn't going to let you manipulate me to think all of the things I noticed were my imagination like you said. But .. once again a few days later I was back in your arms. It's crazy to think this all happened throughout my years in high school.

There was this one day .. _she_ came. Why was _she_ still in the picture? You claimed _she_ came to get some stuff _she_ left here but did you not tell her about me? I watched you quickly shut the door in hopes I wouldn't see _her_ but I did. I played along. I watched you lie an hour later and say you'll be back because you had to meet up with your brother. You wanted me to stay at your apartment you said it wouldn't be long. An hour turned into two, I text you and you didn't respond. I worried and called your brother on the third hour. It's the it funny how your brother said he hadn't seen you in a week. Not even realizing you didn't have him cover for your lie? At that point I knew I was fed up but what hurt me more is the fact that you walked through that door, greeeted me and then I received a message from her telling me you just left _her_ place. I remember those messages so vividly because I felt sick. Not with just you but with myself. Why did I constantly deal with this.

The next day I received an acceptance letter go to abroad to France and study. I hesitated to tell you thinking your break up with me on the spot. Instead, you showed joy and told me you were proud of me and praised me. During this time we spent some time apart because I had to prepare for my move. _She_ also constantly texted me feeling the need to tell me disgusting things that you did to _her_. Of course I didn’t believe her. I took for me to see it with my own eyes. I cannot describe to you the feeling I felt that day when I walked to your parents house to surprise them and invite them to dinner with us before my leave. Yeah I met your parents a few times we didn’t really talk much but I’m sure your mom knew who I was by now. It’s been about three years total at that point.

Ringing the door bell I heard your mom coming to the door. When she opened it she seems a bit surprised but never the less she greeted me and announced you had a visitor. I smiled warmly and walked into the living roomas _she_ told me where you’ll be only to see _her_ …..with you. But not only that, there was a baby…

A baby that resembled you. I fought back the urge to throat up right then and they as I caught eye contact with _her_ and saw the ugly smirk on her face before you looked up and finally looked at me. As soon as you noticed me it looked like you saw a ghost. “Y/n “ you said in a tone hardly above a whisper. I turned away a never looked back. To think I put in all this time to find out you have a baby with the one person that has always been blocking my path to you. _My life has to be a joke._ Is all I could think as I walked home. I wasn’t set to leave for the next two weeks but I decided to catch a earlier flight I could care less for the money spent if it meant getting away.   


I can’t believe how naive I was, I can’t recognize the innocent young girl I once was. Is it possible it wasn’t the really me and just a simulation ? No that can’t be right. I have the scars to prove the truth. As I’m sittting here thinking about it. I only have one regret. Was it worth it? The pain? The hurt? The lies? What did I learn from it? BUT one thing for sure is I want to know Daichi is **_was it worth it?_** Are you happy with you decisions?


End file.
